RANDOM SCRIBBLINGS WHILE WATCHING THE SHOW:
- Episode three opened with Sean doing a seated bench press, topless, in his staple nut-huggers. BUMBLEBEE TUNA.
- Deleted Scene #1: Chris Harrison licking Sean’s back sweat off of the back of the bench press.
- Deleted Scene #2: Chris Harrison doing a seated bench press, topless, in Sean’s nut-huggers.
- Chris Harrison shows up to the house rocking the denim-on-denim look. The man can do no wrong in my book. Ironically, my book is also called “Chris Harrison Can Do No Wrong”.
- Sean and Leslie set a new Guinness record for the longest on-screen kiss, breaking the previous record of 3 minutes and 15 seconds. Coincidentally, they also broke the record for the longest 3 minutes and 16 seconds of television.
- Deleted Scene #3: Chris Harrison bets Sean a piggy-back ride that he and Sean could kiss on-screen for 3 minutes and 17 seconds.
- The Guinness record for longest off-screen kiss was set last Friday night by Andrew Zelman at Lost Dog Tavern. He broke his own record the following night at Stagecoach.
- Leslie said kissing Sean put her on Cloud 9. I’ve never been on Cloud 9, but I did share a three-way kiss once where one girl put me on Cloud 6 and the other girl put me on Cloud 3. It felt pretty cool.
- You know the guy who invented “9 Minute Abs” was the Mac Daddy for years until some other guy invented “8 Minute Abs”. I wonder if the guy who invented Cloud 8 is really bitter and has a picture of Cloud 9 on his dart board.
- This episode’s group date took the girls to the beach. They played what appeared some sort of Special Olympics full-body dry-heave sporting event using a volleyball.
- After 45 minutes, the score of the game was 0-0 and Sean had 3rd degree burns over 85% of his body.
- The girls painted “S” on their bodies during the game for Sean.
- Deleted Scene #4: Chris Harrison, in a jealous rage, runs across the street to the tattoo parlor and gets a scarlet “S” tattooed around his belly button.
- I haven’t seen worse editing in a volleyball match since the Saved By The Bell crew shocked the world at the Malibu Sand Beach Club (Season 3, original air date September 21, 1991).
- Deleted Scene #5: Sarah was invited on the group date to play volleyball.
- If there is ever a group date where the girls have to reenact "YMCA" by The Village People, whoever doesn’t have Stacy on their team will have a leg up on the competition.
- Prediction: Amanda is a serial killer. She will poison all of the girls in the house and then attempt to knife Sean. Right before the stabbing, Chris Harrison will jump in the way and the knife will pierce the Scarlet S. Sean and Chris finally share a passionate kiss as Chris’ last breath passes. Ratings gold.
- Kacie B pulled Sean aside on the group date in what appeared to be an unsuccessful attempt to hypnotize him with her lazy eye.
- Kacie B was a real lady when Lindsay got the rose instead of her, but her lazy eye wouldn’t stop flipping Lindsay the bird.
- Kacie B cried profusely but only one tear came out of her lazy eye. It fell really, really slow down her face.
- I had a friend in high school with a lazy eye. We called him Pirate Pat. If looks could kill, Pirate Pat could kill around corners.
- While AshLee was waiting for Sean to pick her up for her 1-on-1 date, Tierra fell down the stairs off camera. I’m not a betting man, but if I were, I would bet the farm that Kacie B’s lazy eye tripped her.
- Sean knew Sarah would have a tough week because she didn’t have a date. I think most weeks are pretty tough for Sarah.
- Sean surprised Sarah by bringing her dog to the house. Let’s be honest…you were waiting to see if the dog had four legs.
- Top 3 Quotes from this week’s show that I also heard Andrew Zelman say in the past 7 days:
- “I find myself really digging a lot of women and it’s blowing me away right now.”
- “I’m excited, this weeks dates were great, I’ve built really strong connections with several women and it’s important I get a chance to sit down with them.”
- “It’s been crazy with girl’s stealing me left and right. It feels like every time I sit down with one girl, another girl swoops in."
Love,
-Hickey
