Bachelor Fantasy Recap: Week 1 (Brad Womack)

You know, they say it's like riding a bike. It had been several months since Ali decided that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a guy who has uncontrollable upper lip sweat (Roberto the Latin Lover). I was worried I would have forgotten the warm and fuzzy feeling I get when hearing Chris Harrison's creepy voiceovers and cheesy bachelor theme music such as "On The Wings of Love". If you have a pulse, that song should now be stuck in your head for the next 48-72 hours.

ALAS, within 5 minutes of The Bachelor Season Premier...my body went numb from excitement as a shirtless Brad Womack showered with no soap, in the middle of a rainforest, and then decided to take an awkward looking jog down the beach. Just like that, I saw colors I hadn't seen in months....birds were chirping outside of my window...a smiling little boy knocked on my door and asked me to borrow some brown sugar...and I knew for the next several months I'd be walking on Cloud 9.

RANDOM SCRIBBLINGS WHILE WATCHING THE SHOW:

• Brad Womack has really nice collarbones. 


• Who was the guy who volunteered to get his a$$ waxed when they were introducing the manscaper?


• Ashli, the Dentist, may have become my dream girl with her line: "Your mouth is my canvas." WHAT?!?!


• Most likely to makeout with another girl while on the show: Madison.


• Most likely to wish she hadn't fallen asleep in the tanning bed: Jill.


• Most likely to stab Brad with a fork in broad day light: Michelle.


• Most common text message I received: "she doesn't look at all like her picture online" (6 people).


• DO: Tell Brad you have no idea who he is when introducing yourself.


• DONT: Wear vampire teeth when introducing yourself.


• "That didn't go how you thought it was gonna go, did it?" moment of the show: Vampire teeth girl introduction.


• Most likely to wear vampire teeth next week: Vampire teeth girl.


• Internal question of the week: "I wonder if any other 2 guys in America are texting as much during this show as Nick Corley and I are?"

Bachelor Drinking Game to play next week (and the entire season) -- Take a drink anytime:
- There is a shirtless Brad Womack
- Chris Harrison says "Coming up.." or "Up next.." going into the commercial break
- There is reference made to this being the most controversial Bachelor show ever
- A girl cries
- Brad cries
- "Therapy" is said
- Brad kisses a girl
- A girl says she is not there to make friends
- Brad says "wow"
- The most shocking elimination yet occurs
- The most romantic date in Bachelor history happens
- Someone interrupts 1 on 1 time or asks "Can I steal you for a minute?"
- Champagne glasses clink
- You get a text from me that says DRINK!

Have a great week and weekend everyone. Remember to get your picks in by noon on Monday.

Love,

-Hickey