Five weeks into Brad Womack’s 2nd chance at finding true love and things are getting awkward. Widows are being forced to relive their worst nightmares, 2-on-1 dates have begun, more guys than girls are texting me during the show (and being added to the email chain – welcome Brannon, Neil and Bubba), sexual pun date cards are running rampant, and Brad is spending entirely too much time with his shirt on (as is Greg Schatell, currently 12th place in our beloved league).
RANDOM SCRIBBLINGS WHILE WATCHING THE SHOW:
As Chris Harrison’s hair plugs continue to blossom, his clothing becomes more aggressive. I may need to start considering hair plugs.
If I were the pilot flying the girls from LA to Vegas, I would go on the loud speaker and say, “Who wants to see my cockpit?
When Brad met the girls in their new Las Vegas digs, a random Mexican appeared and offered Brad a drink on a tray. I wonder what his name was.
Let’s get this out of the way….Top 3 comments overheard in the OPENING SEGMENT (taking it easy this week) that Andrew Zelman has most likely said:
1. “You know what that means…the two women who get that date, pack your bags and say goodbye to the other women...one of you is going home.”
2. “I am so excited…and I’m so happy to tell you everyone in this room gets a date, so no one’s left out.”
3. “Let’s end tonight with a bang.”
Confirmation that skinny jeans are the new black: Brad wearing skinny jeans.
NSWM ("No Sh*t, Womack" Moment): Brad, after letting himself into the girls’ Vegas pad: “I just let myself in.”
Bimbo Comment of the Night: Shawntal, as she’s walking out onto the roof of the new Vegas digs: “Are we like…on a roof?”
That’s What She Said Moments of the Show
#1: Brad – “Where would this leakage occur?” Shawntal: “Think of all of our orifices.”
#2: Brad talking to Emily about replacing her husband: “That’s a hard, hard space for any man to fill.”
#3: Michell to Brad: “Next time we’re together, you can talk.”
Comment I most disagreed with: Shawntal: “To end the night with a perfect kiss…now that’s a big bang.” No it’s not.
When the champagne bottle popped in the middle of Brad and Shawntal’s date, it would have been a perfect time for ABC to play [INSERT ANY MARVIN GAYE SONG HERE] in the background.
If I ever saw a groundhog, would I confuse it for a really big squirrel?
PAUSE moment of the show: Emily in a racing suit.
New Fantasy: Women in racing suits.
Emily overcame her fears by racing around a NASCAR track. Does this mean I need to dress up like a clown?
If I were Brad and saw Emily in her racing suit, I would have pulled her aside and said, "Are you tired? Because you've been NASCAR racing through my mind all night long."
Britt’s job is a “Foodwriter”. I once wrote a love note on a banana. Resume builder.
Moment I personally related to: Ashley S, when hearing she was going on the 2-on-1 date: “I feel like I’m gonna pee my pants.” I DVR’d the show and refused to watch commercials.
I’m so glad ABC felt it was necessary to zoom into Brad’s nether-region while he was strapped into the cables in his Army Fatigue. Sweet dreams.
I wonder how it feels to get a rose on a 2-on-1 date and then makeout with the guy. Jenna Ann??
Comment most likely to be overheard in Corley / Zelman / Graves apartment: “Connections are being made with other women…I’m kissing other women.”
If I may offer a word of advice for the weekend: When in doubt, go for the blackout.
Love,
-Hickey
No comments:
Post a Comment